“On your marks, get set, “Bang” shouted Mr Burt. Off we went trying hard not to bang into each other. I was already muddy. Luckily I didn’t slip like some other girls did at the start line.
As we were getting near some more puddles, I realised that the track was dangerous. Jogging carefully down the slippery stairs I nearly slipped but luckily I held onto the tree. I was happily saved by the tree.
“Oh my god” I said, I never knew cross country was going to be so hard and long. When I got half way I started to sprint so I could catch up to some girls but sadly I didn’t. I was getting closer to the finish line and I was so proud of myself.
“yeah” I said happily to myself. I was nearly there. I sprinted to the finish line and made myself happy. I had a drink and then I had a rest. Looking down at my pretty purple and black shoes, it was all muddy and yucky.
I had fun running the whole track with my friends. It was awesome, and most of all it’s fun hearing about your friends achieving their goals. It was an amazing day.
It certainly was a muddy track wasn't it. Well done concluding your writing Aldora. Can you see if you can rework some of the paragraphs so that you are not repeating yourself and saying the same thing.
ReplyDeleteHI Aldora,
ReplyDeleteVery nice story. Reading was just my favourite bit. I like the picture sort of but it is OK. I reckon you had fun running through the muddy and watery bits? I did but I was sad because my shoes were very MUDDY and WET. What place did you come....? I came 3rd, YAY. What is your goal to achieve? Hmm. WELL DONE.
KEEP UP THE AWESOME WORK!!!